You’ve done the work.

You’ve achieved what’s important to you.

But it’s never enough. The goalpost just keeps moving.

Some nights, you lie awake wondering: Why don’t I feel successful? Why don’t I feel fulfilled?

You’re not alone. Many high-achievers reach this quiet breaking point—where achievement no longer feels like enough. The truth is, a meaningful life doesn’t come from Becoming alone. It rests on a balance of three essential pillars: Being, Becoming, and Belonging.

And when one outweighs the others, we feel it—in our bodies, our relationships, and our sense of purpose.

The Three Pillars of Meaning

• Being — resting in essence, truth, authenticity, presence.
  
  
• Becoming — striving, achieving, growing, building, manifesting.
  
  
• Belonging — relational connection, acceptance, shared humanity.
  
  

These three feed one another. When they’re in balance, life feels purposeful and alive. But when one dominates and the others are missing, we suffer.

How Imbalance Creates Suffering

Becoming without Being or Belonging
This is the “imposter” moment. You’ve built the résumé, collected accolades, but inside it feels empty. Without authenticity (Being) and connection (Belonging), you feel disconnected and burned out.

 Your nervous system: in overdrive, always doing and never arriving.

 You find yourself wondering: “Why am I not happy and fulfilled?”

Being without Becoming or Belonging
One can float in truth and presence, but without expression or connection, it risks turning into stagnation or even spiritual bypass. Freedom without form.

 Your nervous system: in collapse, disengaged and checked out.

 You whisper: “I know so much—so why can’t I live it?”

Belonging without Being or Becoming
This is conformity—fitting in at the cost of authenticity. You have community, but you’re stuck, unable to grow or express your truth.

Your nervous system: frozen in appeasement, performing to maintain connection.

And deep inside you sense: “Everyone likes me, but no one really knows me.”

The Sweet Spot

True meaning and purpose arise when all three feed one another:

• Being gives authenticity and clarity.
  
  
• Becoming channels that authenticity into form and grounded power.
  
  
• Belonging roots it all in love, connection, and freedom from isolation.
  
  

Purpose becomes not what you achieve but how your Being and Belonging infuse your Becoming.

A Gentle Close

Most of us lean too heavily on Becoming, quietly starving for Being and Belonging. But the moment you notice the imbalance, you’ve already stepped into a new possibility.

Because when you are rooted in all three—Being, Becoming, and Belonging—you don’t just succeed.

You feel at home. You feel alive. You feel free.

With meaning and purpose, 

Carolyn Kubena