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Carolyn is passionate about helping parents

 

I've been there. I understand the struggle firsthand. 

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Testimonials for Carolyn Kubena

Lynn Kreaden, Founder of Lifeworks, NY

“Carolyn is an intuitive practitioner with an uncanny ability to get to the crux of your issues within a very short amount of time. I trust her ability implicitly and happily refer clients to her without pause.”

 

Bruce Tift, Author, Retired Naropa Professor, and private practitioner

"Carolyn is effective and compassionate. She understands the importance and complexity of relationships. She invites client’s curiosity, giving them a chance to unearth the hidden possibilities in their lives. I trust her capabilities and recommend clients to her."

Anna Timmermans, Director of Netherlands Institute of Core Energetics

"Carolyn has a sharp mind, a warm heart, and is very intuitive. I have great trust in her results and refer clients to her.” 

My Coaching Process

 

 

A holistic approach that gets results.  

 

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My Story

 

 

My family's crises changed everything.

 

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My Credentials

At-A-Glance

 

Personal knowledge. Academic training. Professional experience.  

 

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My Coaching Process

Is it time for something new? My approach is holistic consisting of a multitude of techniques including emotional practices, sensory training, breathwork, mindfulness teachings, interpersonal activities, physical exercises, and video/written work.

My approach helps you capture results as you go and builds upon itself.  The more you learn, the better you feel and the less effort is required to further improve. It’s a process that snowballs. Healthy development frees up time and energy to work on more healthy development. 

Throughout the process, I pinpoint issues in a helpful way and frame it for you in clear language.  You feel supported. You unearth your inner wisdom. You live a healthier, happier life. 

Coaching: Opportunities Found Only in Groups!

 

I work primarily with groups because they create a powerful, shared environment of emerging wisdom and insight. 

A group creates a combined force to process the tough stuff and get you through to the other side.  

It encourages you to move you out of secrecy and shame into openness and connection. When you help each other, you discover your problems aren't unique and you gain momentum, realizing that you're all in this together. 

A group helps you contrast your intentions with your actions, creating clarity about your unintended impacts.

In a group, you realize that just as WE ALL FEEL kindness, love, joy, and happiness; WE ALL ALSO FEEL meanness, hate, rage, jealousy, and terror. We all suffer, feel overwhelmed, and do unexplainable things that we later regret. There's no need to waste energy hiding any longer. 

Instead, you will learn a wise lesson: feelings and behaviors are two different things. The former flows through you without your control reminding you that you are part of nature, not separate from it. The latter is a choice reminding you of the power of being human.  

As you develop the skills to metabolize everything that flows through you, you relax and transform the energy used to hide and control your life into energy used to live your life.  You soften, developing compassion and empathy for yourself and others, realizing that we're all doing the best we can. 

Through group work you develop confidence, knowing that you will be able to handle all the messiness life throws at you, not because you eliminate suffering, but precisely the opposite. You learn to tolerate suffering, which allows you to step more wholeheartedly into life. 

Coaching: Transfer group skills to your own family!

Replicate your group experience at home. Hold your children in safety and love, especially during the ugly stuff, teaching them to trust and love themselves exactly as they are. Support them to move out of secrecy and shame into openness and connection. Role model and teach your children to contrast their intentions with their actions. To metabolize intense disturbances (including anxiety) and not run from suffering. To know the difference between feelings and behaviors.

Then watch with awe as your family cultivates the courage to lean into the pain and grow together during periods of stress, confusion, and complexity. Watch with awe as your children develop the confidence necessary to soften and trust themselves, regardless of their mental health challenges, knowing that they got this! Limitations and all! 

Book a complimentary consultation to get started!

My Coaching Process 

 

I offer you customized solutions NOW. 

I understand the urgency of the matter. I focus on quick, impactful results that will give immediate relief to your family's specific issues. 

 

I invite you to broaden your perspective to see the family system as a whole unit. 

No one in the family is operating in a bubble after all.  All members are continuously being impacted by and reacting to each other as part of the whole system. 

 

I teach holistic psychological techniques that work.

I teach you to work with your biology to develop a steadfastness your family can count on. Using body centered techniques, you overcome mental obstacles and the clever tricks of the mind. You release tension and fear becoming a stable pillar of your family's recovery. 

My 5 Pillar Coaching Approach

 

Pillar 1 - Stabilize yourself

Learn simple techniques to calm your nervous system during intense moments when you tend to lose it and become reactive. Stop your own meltdowns before they happen, and if you do lose it, you learn to recover in a way that enhances connection and trust.  

Master tools to manage anxiety, metabolize intense emotions, and face your biggest fears.  

Learn to consistently provide support, which fosters mutual trust. 

Calm down and obtain the rest you need to persevere. 

 

Pillar 2 - Stabilize your family

Gain a model for responding to difficult or risky behaviors that encourages receptivity, accountability, and mature problem-solving.

Teach your children techniques that are specific to their emotional issues, which can help them stabilize and heal

 

Pillar 3 - Breakthrough confusion and develop a clear plan

Give up your fight with reality! Learn to triage accurately and take impactful actions that have relevant influence. 

Shift your own outdated emotional habits that are causing confusion and warping your parental experience. 

Discover the root causes of your child's struggles and find out what they really mean with their ugly words and disrespectful actions.

 

Pillar 4 - Build emotionally intelligent relationships

Develop the skills to provide close support for your children while promoting their independence and accountability. Learn alternatives to the extremes of 'I'll just do it myself' and 'You do it or else' approaches.

Manage the natural pushing/pulling that occurs during the development process without collapsing into feelings of rejection, withdrawing love, or becoming over-reactive.  

Provide balanced attention and support to siblings. 

Improve your relationship with your partner and break out of the three common destructive patterns of couples in crisis.

Face difficult conversations with specific strategies to handle conflict, unwanted advice, judgment, and shame.

 

Pillar 5 - Act with intention

Practice, practice, practice.

Break the cycle for this generation and beyond. 

Lead with clear personal empowerment AND empathy that reassures your family.

Inspire growth and development in all members of the family.

 

Embrace the yuck. Befriend the mess. Dare to flourish!

Find out what's possible for you. Book a complimentary consult.

My Story

 

When perfection and hard work stopped being enough 

Carolyn Kubena affectionately holds her children in their home

It was 2011. I received my wake up call, which was literally a call. A call from the police! 

I insisted that they must have the wrong phone number. I argued that they definitely were mistaken; although in hindsight, it had been in front of me for years. I stood there shaking as I grudgingly accepted the news that my teenage daughter had called emergency services the prior night after almost losing her life.

My well-constructed life fell apart in an instant, and I was faced with a crisis that brought me to my knees.

At first, I tried to handle the situation on my own, but things only escalated. Our family was trapped in a cycle of shame and isolation, and my husband and I were struggling to keep our relationship intact. Meanwhile, my younger daughter was suffering from neglect. We needed help fast.

My daughter began therapy, but I longed for a more holistic solution beyond willpower driven behavior changes and medication. I wanted a path to healing and freedom for our entire family.

She wasn’t operating in a bubble after all. Her problems weren’t hers alone. This was bigger than that. She was part of a family system and many of her symptoms had been around for generations. 

She was going to need strong support, and I intended to provide it. But how?

 

It was time to try something different

 

Carolyn Kubena's husband and daughter sit together on porch swing in Denver

I had never felt so overwhelmed, disoriented, and grief stricken. For the first time in my life, I had no answers and no idea where to turn. I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for. 

I began traditional talk therapy which helped, but felt limited. I needed something that worked quicker with clearer goals and deliverables. I needed to overcome the clever tricks of my mind. 

With curiosity, I attended a holistic workshop and was so flabbergasted that I barely blinked, barely took a breath. I watched a room full of strangers freely engage in mind-body practices that cooperated with their biology and offered lasting solutions.

It seemed crazy, but also made perfect sense. They were finding the freedom and healing for which I longed, so I immediately enrolled in the school.

I met generous therapists, teachers, healers, and guides. Some were wacky and alternative, coming from a completely different world than mine, yet they knew my suffering  and provided a path forward unlike anything I had known before. 

As I learned and developed, my family shifted. The heat came down and the chaos cleared. I became more impactful and responsive. I watched with awe as my family members acquired many of my new life skills. Together we found the courage and connection we needed to lean into the pain and face our challenges head on. 

My daughter found her gifts buried within her emotional struggles, gaining a unique perspective, unique creativity, and a growing impact on the world. Our second daughter began to flourish as she received the attention and support she deserved. My husband became curious and began his own holistic journey.

What I want for you

Relax and know you've come to the right place. You're not alone and there are solutions.

I learned that having a child with emotional issues can be a gift helping you create a more resilient, emotionally intelligent family that has unbreakable bonds and the confidence to face challenges head on. 

My life's passion is to share tools that help you and your family flourish because of, not in spite of, your child's emotional challenges.

To get started book a complimentary consultation

Credentials At-A-Glance

 

I offer a unique combination of personal knowledge, academic training, and professional experience. 

 

I hold an extensive 4-year certification in holistic, brain-body methods from the Institute of Core Energetics (Netherlands) which is accredited by U.S. Association of Body Psychotherapy.

I combine techniques from a multitude of holistic schools including EMDR, Internal Family Systems, Somatic Experiencing, Hakomi, The Hoffman Process, and Family Constellations.

I draw heavily from Attachment Theory and Polyvagal Theory.

I have spent over 10 years studying and integrating multidisciplinary subjects in order to provide you the most effective techniques: 

  • Consciousness and adult development models.
  • Individual, ancestral, and collective trauma discoveries.
  • Integrations of Eastern wisdom traditions with Western psychology.
  • Scientific discoveries that support mind-body techniques (Quantum physics, epigenetics, neurobiology, etc. )

 I hold certifications in hospice care, Reiki, restorative justice facilitation, trauma work and more.

I have over 700 professional hours working with parents on complicated and diverse family issues. 

In my previous career, I was a successful international business woman working with Fortune 500 companies in the USA and abroad. From this experience, I further understand complexity and appreciate direct communication, vision, and an orientation toward results. 

I’m a professional member of the U.S. Association of Body Psychotherapy and the Core Energetics Alumni Association.